//The other side of me
Faking a smile to ease the situation and to calm yourself just don’t work at times. Somewhere you find yourself lying, crying, knowing nothing but just feeling it. I am not sure if it works to all but for me, reality is walking down a dark empty street carrying a load of bull. The street is technically not empty but due to its darkness then you presume it’s empty. By empty I meant, no people, no stuff, absolutely nothing than the existence of the street. You then found yourself, crawling instead of walking, crawling for exhaustion and hunger. You crawl yourself to that end point in order to reach the light that there’s no assurance of. The exhaustion of humanity, its complexity and the hunger of appreciation because everyone else is trying to be selfless by their own definition. At first try, you may fail but you may not either. It’s a matter of determination and how much patience and effort you got in order to satisfy the understanding of humanity. A lot had given up even before they started trying and a lot also had given up after the long journey of trying. At that span of time, others take it as an encouragement while others take it as a discouragement. I stand at the end. I am never challenged of the struggles in life. I never see the point in trying. I never try to embrace it and give it another chance because if at first it didn’t work out then perhaps it’s really meant not to work out. They say reality is an endless struggle of survival but it is sugarcoated with happiness to add flavor into it. Then I shall say, I prefer the sugar coating, I’m sorry.
As I try to live a happy life, it just don’t happen often. Shit happens, we know that. But it is also your attitude that could turn things upside down. Unfortunately, I don’t have such. I only have the kind of attitude that could perplexed you of my current state. The attitude that not a even a hint you could grasp. That is me, standing in a thin ice. The thin ice that could break anytime. One wrong move, then I break down. As they say, we carry these things inside us that no one else can see, they hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea. For now, I might be drowning but there are these good people who never miss the opportunity of helping and that is where I found my comfort zone. The people we might say “life guard”. They keep on looking into us. The kind of people that shouldn’t be taken for granted of much more than never be taken advantage. They should be appreciated and loved. I swear, they are worth every time spending for they never care spending theirs into you.
Finally, thank you for saving me! :*
The girl who don’t know how to swim. Teehee *wink*