Capturing people would make my day bright, a passion they call it. But people has to be well versed in order to become better. You are not yet the best in a snap of a finger. You have to learn, practice and improve.
The above photo was my hands. As you can see my hands especially my fingers are so bare except for that bracelet tho. There was something missing. That something was the ring I wore for almost 5 years. The ring was given from someone who used to be so special to me. Someone who used to mean the world to me; my other whole. The only person who were there for me through up and downs, thick and thins. When the world seem to be an enemy, he was there to be a friend. Whenever I feel bad, he was there to not just tap my back and say it’s okay, instead he was there to hug me tight and say, you’ll be fine, trust me.
That one person I let go because I am never enough. I let go not because the situation demands it but because I demanded the situation to be so. I did because I cannot give him what he deserves. The kind of relationship that’s not one-sided. The kind of relationship that doesn’t only talk about material things. The kind of relationship that’s not mediocre. I say one-sided because I decide for myself regardless of how hard it is for him. I decided for myself no matter how self-centered the reason is. The struggle is always about me. It’s about me being so hard to handle. About me being miserable. It is about me being so unmotivated and discouraged.
The situation might kill me at some point but I shouldn’t let myself be killed. It’s just one part of life. One chapter of my own. There’s still a lot more as long as there are days coming. I just have to accept it and do something new. Sticking to what was there or what used to be won’t help me. New routines, new people, new idea and new standard will come next in line as this battle will come to an end.
When I’m sad or feeling bad, I just couldn’t make up my thoughts. There are a lot that I want to say and but I couldn’t. I wish I’m better. Well anyways, I’ll get back to this soonest. I hope.
Was staying at one corner of the room then saw my camera bag. Quickly pull my camera out and tries to find a good subject. Can see no one so decided to take a “selfie” but I’m using my 50mm, I’ll surely have a hard time. Then realized, I got someone, why not use her? hmmm? So yeah! A niece of mine took this photo because I requested and because I’m bored.
/// Obligation and relationship
I guess it’s all I need. I just have to sit down and get myself a cup of coffee. Think and just think. Think what could possibly happen. If everything will still be worth the fight. We all are afraid of failures, right? So of course I don’t want to just trash all my effort. I want it to be worth it in the end. But for now, the greatest question will be “when will this end?”. I grew tired and almost every night I feel so depress. The fact that you have to balance things yet the 24 hours in a day just isn’t enough is really depressing. It can ruin the following day and even relationships with people. *Sigh!*
For the sake of those who don’t know. It was me and my twin.
Yesterday was a day full of excitement because after a long time of having a gap, like not seeing each other, being busy on our own lives, doing our own stuff and hanging out with our other friends, at last, time found us tho somewhere we also tried to find time. hihi. It was really a hide-and-seek game. But nonetheless, we sat at one corner of the mall, talked about how much we miss each other, how excited we are for that day to come and things that we miss on each other’s lives. It was a long talk for both of us to the extent that we haven’t mind time was running fast. So we decided to go somewhere to chill ourselves out and continued the talk. There were revelations, there were insecurities but we never failed to comfort each other. We never failed to show that despite what happened, despite the risk that we took, despite our insecurities, we are still here for each of us. To be each other’s comfort zone and to be each other’s crying shoulder. It was one hell of an awesome relationship and one hell of an awesome friendship. It’s never cheap, it’s never shallow and it’s never ordinary. We know how thankful we are that we met paths. Who could’ve thought we would be so blessed of being together. Who would’ve thought things will get better and who would’ve thought we will experience almost the same things. That is one proof why we called each other…”TWINS”.
“I wanna be your “1am I can’t sleep” text”
“Every poem is about you. Even the ones
about other people, they’re for your eyes
only. Everyone else who reads this is just a stranger
looking through the window at us.
It always comes back to you.
It will always come back to you.”
“The camera makes you forget you’re there. It’s not like you are hiding but you forget, you are just looking so much.” – Ansel Adams
Missing photography so much and hoping to be with my baby soonest. Been planning to bring her elsewhere but her weight discourages me. She so heavy and it’s so hassle for me to get her out and in of the bag every after use. How I wish Philippines, specifically Cebu is as safe as other places to take pictures of. Well I’m still keeping my hopes up for it to be so.